The Bible: In the Beginning (1966)

One of the many examples where making fun of the poster probably doesn’t come close to the experience of making fun of The Bible: In the Beginning itself, which must have been so bad that Dino de Laurentiis didn’t want any images from it to be seen in close detail.  I mean, Michael Parks as Adam?  Does this mean Richard Harris, playing Cain, could truly be called “son number one?”  And let’s not let Harris off that easily; you gotta think he must have at least been in his thirties or forties by 1966.  A tad old to be playing Cain, hmmm?  Come to think of it, has anyone ever seen Richard Harris without grey hair? (Not too unlike how no picture of Olympia Dukakis exists where she’s under the age of 50.)  Love how audiences depicted here are just clamoring wall-to-wall to get their ticket to the miraculous “entertainment event” that is The Bible: In the Beginning . . . oh wait a second, that’s just EVERYDAY NEW YORK CITY TRAFFIC!  If anything, most of the people appear to be walking on the other side of the street, trying their hardest to ignore the obnoxious poster.  It also doesn’t help that The Bible: In the Beginning appears to be playing at the Paris Wax Museum, giving off the vague impression of one of those creepy Creationist exhibitions where dinosaurs and humans co-exist.  Not that there’s any denying that a film like this was squarely meant for dinosaurs.